When Competence becomes a Trap

You know that thing where the better you get at your job, the more people give you to do?

🙋 That’s your life in a nutshell.

Experienced and long-serving, you’re the safe pair of hands. The one who’ll pick up the slack when another contract is in chaos, the person who steps in on the retention bid because “you just have such a good handle on client communications.”

You always deliver

Even if it means logging on again after bedtime stories, or standing in the play area on the phone chasing a supplier issue.

At first, it feels flattering. Being trusted that much is a compliment. But eventually, it stops feeling like recognition and starts feeling… suffocating.

The problem is,  when you’re calm, capable, and dependable, people stop asking if you can take it on.

➡️  They just assume you will ⬅️

😩They don’t see the 10pm Teams messages. 😩They don’t notice the juggling act between an operational review and a school email about Halloween fancy dress. 😩 They don’t realise the mental gymnastics it takes to appear “all in” at work while remembering to defrost something vaguely dinner-shaped.

You are good at your job. Too good, maybe.

➡️ Because competence can become invisible ⬅️

People stop noticing what you bring to the table - they only notice what would fall apart if you weren’t there. Wondering why Sanjay who is 8 years younger than you and only been with the company for 10 months just got prompted and you didn’t? That’s why.

Another challenge - being the one everyone relies on can make you forget that you also need support.

Leadership shouldn’t mean being endlessly capable.

💚 It should mean creating space -  for yourself and your team - to thrive at work, but also to enjoy your life outside the day job.

Capability without boundaries isn’t strength. It’s a one-way ticket to burnout, wrapped in professionalism.

The very skills that got you here - calmness under pressure, reliability, exceptional operational oversight - can quietly turn against you.

If no one ever stops to check if you’re okay (they won’t), eventually your energy runs dry and burnout, fatigue and an overwhelming sense of ‘is this it’ abates.

🤯 If you’re juggling budgets, client satisfaction, supplier crises, and the invisible mental load of home life, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing if you don’t do it all perfectly.

But what if you didn’t have to?

➡️ What if you could find the ability to thrive in your job, set boundaries, and still excel at work - without feeling guilty about what you “should” be doing? ⬅️

👉 This is exactly what I help women in Facilities Management and Contract Catering do.

Together, we work on strategies to reduce overwhelm, set sustainable boundaries, and regain a sense of control - so your competence becomes visible, valued, and sustainable, rather than a trap and endless downward spiral.

💌 Book a call, and togetherwe’ll explore how you can thrive in your career without burning out, so you can show up as both the leader you are and the parent you truly want to be.

💌 If you enjoyed this, you’ll love The Load, Lightened - my weekly Friday newsletter. It’s packed with real talk, practical fixes, and quick wins to help you juggle work, family, and everything in between.