Holidays - but not for you

The one where everyone else gets a break…

I was messaging a client yesterday  and made a comment - 'look at us -so efficient at 7.33am!'

Her response was rapid - 'I know! right now 6am and 9pm is my jam!'

I know the feeling - ever since being back in the UK I've been getting up at 5am to cram 3 hours of work into the day before the kids are clamouring at my door for snacks / entertainment / to find their hat*.

All around us, the messaging is that 'schools out' and 'holidays are here' and all I can think is 'but not for us' 😖

You and I, the working Mum.

The one who now not only has to, you know, do her job but also has to contend with kids clambering up the walls literally all day, navigating playdates and childcare swaps (because somehow yes - that is your job) or perhaps ferrying to and from a holiday club - between the hours of 10am-2pm and in exchange for twice your monthly mortgage. Thanks 🫠

Honestly? I don't have all the answers.

The mantra I'm repeating to myself over and over at the moment is 'chose your hard' - and I chose mine to be at 5am before the house is awake rather than 8pm if the baby is asleep when I know I'll be exhausted and done in and there's no way I'll make it to my desk, therefoire increasing the guilt that client work is piling up on top of me and making everything worse.

I know I’m not alone in this. Every working mum I speak to right now is quietly (or not so quietly) holding it all together with suncream, spreadsheets, and snacks.

We’re the default parent. The holiday activity planner. The snack dispenser. The emotional regulator. Not to mention being the professional who’s supposed to be “on it” and smiling on Zoom at 9am.

And the kicker? We feel guilty no matter what we choose. Guilty if we work. Guilty if we don’t. Guilty if we let them watch too much TV. Guilty if we don’t reply to that client message fast enough.

I was texting a friend last night and she was saying how guilty she feels that her kids haven't been to the beach yet this summer - trust me, if there's a stick there, we're going to beat ourselves with it.

I wish I could say it's as easy as 'taking time out for you' - but let's be honest, that's just not feasible right now (though apparently it is for my hiusband, who is still making it to the gym most days... that's another conversation entirley 🙃)

So for the summer holidays, let me offer you this: 'chose your hard'.

Because the truth is, there’s no “right” way to do this. There’s only your way. And if that looks like working at 5am or 9pm, sticking the kids in front of the TV every afternoon or letting them have their tablets in the morning, so be it.

I've come to realise that as a Mum, the summer holidays aren't for R&R, they are all about endurance. Yes, there are moments of joy and happiness and fun and of course, these are what makes it all worthwhile - but it's certainly not the sunshine and rainbows that we're led to believe the next 6 weeks should be when we have to parent like we're not also trying to hold down a 9-5.

So if you’re reading this through tired eyes and thinking “yep, that’s me” I see you.

You’re not alone.

I'm with you... simultaneously counting the days til schools go back and hoping the holidays never end, all at the same time.

*Jokes, of course they never want to find their hat

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