The Juggle is Real

At work, you're the one holding it all together - managing contracts, smoothing relationships, hitting KPIs, and being the go-to for your team, clients, and the C-suite. You lead with calm authority, deliver under pressure, and never drop the ball.

Then you get home… and the second shift kicks in.

The questions change -  “What’s for dinner?”, “Where’s my book bag?” - but the pressure doesn’t. You’re still the fixer, the organiser, the emotional anchor. Just without the title, the salary, or the off-switch.

A 2023 survey found that 86% of working mothers  feel exhausted trying to juggle work and family life.

And nearly half - 47% - of mothers with young children say they feel burned out often or almost always.

Even if everyone else looks like they’ve got it all figured - in real life or in that annoyingly perfect Instagram post - you’re not the only one feeling like you're barely holding it together.

You’re constantly juggling it all - a demanding career and the chaos of family life. At work your days blur into meetings, urgent emails, and last-minute tasks, so the “real work” happens after the kids are in bed. And while you’re proving yourself at work, at home you’re running a second shift - the lunches, the appointments, the WhatsApp reminders, the never-ending mental load.

Being the default parent leaves you stretched thin. You’re the one who gets the school call when someone’s sick, the one keeping everything spinning while silently carrying the weight. You want to be present for your kids, but instead you’re firing off emails between bedtime stories and worrying time is slipping away.

Research shows nearly three-quarters of working mums carry the mental load -and you feel every bit of that weight.

It’s not just the workload -it’s the guilt.

😨 Guilt for slipping out of work to catch the school assembly.

😨 Guilt for missing calls from the office while watching your child at the park.

😨 Guilt for not joining the PTA, or for being distracted when your kid shouts, “watch me, mummy!”

The push and pull leaves you feeling like you’re failing everywhere - never enough at work, never enough at home.

The truth is, this “always-on” pattern isn’t new.

You were praised as the good girl, the high achiever, the one who got it right—and now you don’t know how to slow down without feeling like you’re failing. It’s all-or-nothing, and survival has replaced living.

Despite being senior in your role, you feel like you constantly need to prove yourself.

Restructures, tenders, and the threat of cuts keep you pushing - saying yes to more projects, working late, and showing up even when you’re running on fumes. You’re distracted in meetings, answering emails at the school gates, and logging back on after bedtime. Silly mistakes creep in, confidence dips, and you’ve quietly slipped out of the inner circle because you skip post-work drinks, networking, and socials.

At home, the pressure doesn’t ease - it multiplies.

The guilt follows you everywhere - at work and at home - making you feel like you’re never enough.  Your marriage feels more like co-parenting logistics than romance, with sex sidelined and date nights abandoned as too much effort - why is it all on you?

Friendships have been reduced to voice notes and memes, with nights out accepted reluctantly and secretly hoped cancelled. Your “wild” social calendar is mostly kids’ birthday parties and last-minute present dashes. You miss the carefree, fun version of yourself - you can’t remember the last meaningful conversation you had that wasn’t about work or children.

Sleep is broken, stress is constant, and you survive on caffeine, snacks, and the occasional glass of wine to take the edge off.

It’s not like you haven’t tried.

You’ve Googled “how to stop feeling guilty as a working mum” at midnight, bought the journal, downloaded Headspace, and even attempted Couch to 5K before life got in the way (again).

You’ve signed up to HelloFresh, only to let spinach wilt in the fridge, and listened to self-help podcasts from 20-somethings who’ve never scrubbed Weetabix out of a car seat 🙄

You’ve bought the planners, the apps, the promises of balance - but none of them account for sick kids, surprise restructures, or the mental load that never switches off.

You’ve tried setting boundaries, waking up earlier, eating better, meditating, delegating to your husband (who still needs a list just to “help”) - but nothing sticks. The harder you try, the more you feel like you’re failing at fixing it all. So now, in the quiet moments, a bigger question creeps in: is this just it?

The truth is, you’re not just carrying the logistics of your life - you’re carrying the whole emotional and mental load of your household, and often your workplace too. You’re the safe pair of hands, the calendar, the crisis manager, the one who just gets on with it. And if we’re really honest, a part of you equates being busy with being valuable. Slowing down feels risky. Saying no feels selfish. Because if you’re not endlessly ticking boxes and holding it all together, then who are you? What’s your worth?

The worst part? Being busy isn’t the same as being effective. Or respected.

You’re not failing -

You’re stuck in a system that was never designed for you in the first place. A patriarchal system that rewards presenteeism over progress and visibility over value, while quietly relying on women to hold it all together without ever asking what it costs. No wonder it feels unsafe to stop. No wonder it feels impossible to slow down. That's not a weakness - it’s the weight of generations of expectation layered over a modern workplace that still hasn’t caught up with real life.

You want to feel in control, valued, and fulfilled in every part of your life.

✔️ You’ve worked hard for both a career you care about and a family you love, and you’re done with feeling like you have to trade one for the other.

✔️ You want boundaries that protect your energy and sanity without damaging your reputation - if anything, ones that strengthen it.

✔️ You want to be fully present with your kids, to enjoy your evenings without the constant hum of tomorrow’s to-do list, and to feel good in your body again - not for Instagram, but just to shake off the constant tiredness that starts before the day even does.

✔️ You want your relationship to feel like a partnership again - light, supportive, and fun, not just co-parenting logistics.

✔️ You want to reconnect with yourself, the version of you who isn’t just “mum” or “manager,” but you. To feel proud of what you’ve built without the guilt that you’re somehow not doing enough.

➡️ And above all, you want to actually enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard for — not just get through it. To thrive, not just survive. ⬅️

💌 If you enjoyed this, you’ll love The Load, Lightened - my weekly Friday newsletter. It’s packed with real talk, practical fixes, and quick wins to help you juggle work, family, and everything in between.